Worst Archaeologist Ever
by Sereneffect
Summary: Shepard and Liara settle down in the Commander's new apartment for a movie night, and Shepard tries to introduce her lover to her favorite movies. Liara, however, remains unconvinced. Fluffy nonsense, quick Oneshot.


**Just an idea I had while watching a certain series of amazing movies this weekend =P**

**Cheers to Greenyoda987 for pushing me to go through with this idea!**

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"Shepard… Are you sure this man is an archaeologist?" Liara asked for the fourth time in as many minutes. Shepard tore her eyes away from the huge screen to look down at the asari snuggled up to her hip and smirked.

"Yes, Liara, I'm sure. Dr. Indiana Jones, professor and practitioner of archaeology, and adventurer extraordinaire," she replied, rubbing circles on her lover's shoulder as the other woman's brow furrowed.

"Shepard, I'm pretty sure he's destroyed hundreds of years' worth of your people's history in ten minutes. He has kept no records of where he has made his discoveries, and he has disturbed countless potential sites all on a treasure hunt!" Liara let her dramatically-gesturing arm drop back down to the couch cushions and Shepard chuckled quietly, looking back up to the movie. The telltale theme grew out of the background and before long the human woman was humming along. "How can you like this?" Liara insisted, startling her out of her own head.

"Because it's about more than the treasure," Shepard replied with a smile as the male lead stared incredulously at an approaching swordsman. With an exasperated sigh, he pulled out a gun and fired, shocking the surrounding crowd. The commander laughed quietly to herself, then looked back down. Liara was looking up at her with a disbelieving expression and Shepard bent down to press a light kiss to her forehead. "Yeah, the history and the artifacts are cool, but it's about good and evil, right and wrong. Indie always stops the bad guys."

Liara guffawed, sitting up to level a stern look at her lover. "Shepard, that doesn't—"

"Look," Shepard insisted, pointing to the screen. German soldiers marched on screen, red armbands almost fluorescent against their tan uniforms. The black insignia stared back at them and the whole sequence had an eerily _off _quality to it. Shepard felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise, and goosebumps springing up on Liara's skin. Shepard glanced back to the asari. "Those are the Nazis—bogeymen from Earth's history—_they're_ the bad guys."

"Nazis, I've never heard of—"

"We don't like for people to know." Shepard pulled her back down and wrapped her arms around the other woman. "Kind of a dark period for humans. A lot of people died, a lot of prejudice was had. The Nazis were the worst of it, led by a guy who basically embodied evil."

"I'm sure he wasn't—"

"_No one_ thinks Hitler wasn't evil," Shepard insisted, nodding back toward the screen. "They always show up, looking for the artifacts just like Indiana, but he always wins. You know why? Cuz he's the goddamn hero." She smiled, just an upward twist of the corner of her mouth and Liara let out a low giggle.

"I see… You identify with him, don't you?" When Shepard said nothing, her smile widened. "You do. You have the same snap-decision making tendency, the same reactions to violence and betrayal." Now, her laugh was loud and ringing. "Oh, Shepard…"

"Hey, hey, hey. Don't make this mushy. This is Indiana Jones. Indiana Jones is a badass," Shepard said, schooling her expression into one of complete seriousness. The effect was ruined, of course, when her laughing lover planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek.

"As are you, Shepard, as are you." Liara settled back down, arms looped loosely around Shepard's waist. "I suppose there are worse things than Mr. Jones's disregard for archaeological protocol in his pursuit of the ark of the convent to annoy the Nazis."

"Ok, it's _Doctor_ Jones, and the ark of the _covenant_," Shepard corrected, raising a brow as she looked down at her, "And the Nazis started it."

"Of course, Shepard."

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**Let me know what you think!**


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